Hard-on or not to Hard-on

Often I get asked how I manage to do photos of these girls and resisting the urge to hand them back their money to use their services. The simple truth is that not every girl I work with is my cup of tea. Being in the business tends to complicate issues, so even the ones that I would hand back their money for a call, would end up being awkward or seem unprofessional to some.

A more interesting question that I am asked usually comes from the girls regarding arousal during a photo session. My job is simple, find sexy and seductive ideas and situations to bring out into photos. Having a half-naked woman as your full attention for over an hour must have some affect on me hormonally right?

Something that I am grateful for, and it's an ability that I hadn't paid much attention to until a year or so after I started doing these types of photos. I can have a one-way conversation between my mind and my body. To do my job well and fully immerse myself into my work, I have to be thinking sexy, lucid and sometimes dirty thoughts for extended periods of time in a creative way ... and I can tune out my body's reaction thank God!

Not every girl that I have in front of the camera is someone that 'turns my crank'. With every girl that I photograph though, I have to put myself in the mindset of the person who their look does it for. It's somewhat of a role play in a sense, I have to look for the types of things that their clientele are drawn to and find appealing. When there is something or someone that I can closer relate to my own interests, it's a lot easier. I'm not much of the type for BDSM, but I really enjoy being creative with it.

Naturally, with all this sexy thoughts and imagery in my head, my body has a reaction. Not always, but usually. There are times I'm so focused on manipulating light or an effect for the photo that the thoughts are too technical but the finished look is sexy. Between outfits things generally cool off for me, not always but usually. Having the person I'm working with standing pressed up against me looking at the photos from the back of the camera adds some things like touch and scent that a little harder to ignore.

So, what does this mean for the girl on the other side of the camera? There's a number of possibilities as each person really has their own view about having the guy taking photos of them sporting a pipe in his pants. There's quite a few who usually don't pay attention, some want to see a reaction like that and others look at it as unprofessional. I usually don't know which camp they're in until I either see a reaction or well into the session.

At one photo session I had a girl who was upset that she didn't see a raging erection in my pants during her photos. To be honest I was flattered, but she was wrong. I had been putting some effort into hiding my physical reaction to the photos, in hindsight I shouldn't have worried so much about it. I think she checked between outfits when my concentration is elsewhere, and not dwelling on what I've just seen. To her, seeing an erection would have encouraged her and helped her get into a more seductive mindset.


At another photo shoot, a girl reach up and used her hand to check for herself, commenting that if it was getting me aroused then the photos were turning out well. Mostly, I don't wear clothes that bring attention to whether or not something is going on in my pants. She was the only girl to physically grope me during a photo shoot to date, it definitely heightened my creativity to give me more to think about what I wanted to come across in the photos.

I think I've only had one person in the time that I've been doing this make a comment that they felt that being aroused seemed unprofessional. It would be naive of me to think that there aren't others. It's difficult to take sexy photos without having to put similar ideas into your head. Everyone has their opinion, and I respect them. I think it's more likely with massage attendants than it is with escorts.


In my opinion, captivating images give a sense of desire or seek reaction from the viewer. While some look to find sexy poses and use the photos as a visual aid to generate interest, having the viewer react or take responsive action is the intent of advertising. I wouldn't suggest it during one of my consultations or list in my FAQ's, but take a moment to think about this ... If you flirt, suggest and seduce the photographer during the photos, this is what the end viewer will see being directed to them.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, each person will have individual views on the issue. Sometimes I wish there could be a little check-box or something to know ahead of time when someone has a strong feeling one way or the other. To answer the question: Yes, I do get aroused, likely more often than anyone notices.

Crazy Day ... Maybe crazy week

At the request of Adriana Ferrera (Twitter: @AdriFerrera) I'll post a little rant.

This week was planned to be one to get everything organized for my move from Hamilton to north of Toronto. I figured it would go pretty smooth since most people had fallen off the face of the earth recently and I had the time available. I had arranged to have my 8yo daughter for the week and do some things with her. She has enough interests and activities on her own that it would be far from a boring week attending dance classes, swimming and seeing the new Harry Potter film with her.

Guess I was wrong. For whatever reason, people find out I have time that isn't being dedicated to someone specific, they need something. In this case there were projects that people wanted to have done the same week I wanted set aside for my own things, and panic insued among everyone that knew me.

By the Friday that all this was supposed to start I was getting offers for hiring sitters, packers and cleaners so that I could get their urgent projects done. Family was calling, texting and emailing me with plans they had that required extra help and I hadn't even picked up boxes yet.

Having a 40" LCD flatscreen as your monitor is great, unfortunately when it doubles as your TV things are complicated when you have kids over. Just about any "work" I would get done has to be accomplished after she goes to bed. The weekend was great for being outdoors anyhow.

Manic Monday started with my posting on Twitter "This is going to be one of those crazy days". I had 2 web sites to build, plus finish one for myself. My daughter had Dance and swimming in the afternoon and my ex-wife now kidless had 1001 questions that she needed help with because she had time to work on them. Oh, almost forgot, she also wanted me to place telephone tag with my son over a camping trip she wanted to invite him to go on.

I got the bathroom packed, I didn't have time for much else. I think I was on the phone with pretty much anyone I knew over the day too.

We'll see what happens the rest of the week. I'm done bitching, you can go about your business now.

My 40th Birthday Un-celebration

I don't take vacations very often. The last one I went on was about 10 years ago when I went to Las Vegas, and had planned for about the last three years to experience something within the sex trade that I hadn't, and looked forward to adding to my portfolio as a treat for my 40th birthday ... visiting a brothel.

Realistically, spending $1200 for an hour for something that I could just as easily do in Toronto for a third of the price seems silly at first look. For starters, I wanted to do it for the experience. Getting buzzed into the gate, mingling at the bar while I make a choice and then openly negotiate a party. I've been to the Red Light District of Amsterdam so it'd be like a crowning jewel.

Secondly, I've known a few girls that work at a few of the ranches. Meeting them in person finally would be nice.I feel fortunate that I know a lot of people who have interesting jobs.

For as much time as I spend working around the trade, I don't take part in the activities very often at all. It's not a lack of desire, I'm single and have no relationship to upset over it, it's lack of opportunity without the potential for an awkward situation. The closest thing I could liken it to would be dating someone you met at work. Some people like me can handle it, others can't.

Like I mentioned before, it was supposed to be something I wanted to do to celebrate my 40th. Unfortunately it never happened, to be honest, the day went by without so much as being noticed by anyone and wasn't even celebrated. Seems like whenever I free up time to make plans, someone finds out and needs something important at inopportune times. I'll eventually treat myself to a birthday present months after the fact, when I can can have both time and money at the same time. I think I'll have to do something in Toronto though for this year.

I think even a birthday blowjob would be just as well received belated by months as it would have been on the day of. I'll have to set aside something to get at least that done sooner rather than later.